Shit Straight Men Say: "Got a $100 note tattooed on my dick."
And in this week's rant, why do straight people hate their partners?
One thing I’ve noticed when I talk to coupled-up straights is how very typically Australian it is for people to dunk on their partner or talk about them disparagingly as though it’s all a bit of fun and games and not super depressing to listen to.
Part of the reason I sometimes feel jaded in the modern-day dating era isn’t really to do with apps or the terrible bios: it’s hearing the relationship stories around me; it’s my own past lived experiences; it’s the pointed jokes or comments at the pub from one partner to another, a thinly-disguised “joke” that’s really just a jaded, pointed comment to the person someone apparently loves and can’t live without.
I’m guilty of it. My exes are guilty of it. My friends are. I’ve been in social situations where I rolled my eyes, the disdain in my voice for my ex-boyfriend’s gaming habit obvious. He’d do the same with me when it came to reality TV. I’ve heard friends put down their partners, and vice-versa. I’ve listened to coworkers bag out their fiancés or wives, the old ball and chain, as though they had a gun held to their head and were forced to propose or take that next step of commitment. Then they go home to that person, the apparent love of their life, and either drop the act or just live passive-aggressively and continue the pattern of behaviour on and on and on.
Why the fuck is it such an Australian thing to hate your partner? Are we really that emotionally repressed that we can’t be happy in a relationship or take pride in a choice we’ve made, whether that is to become official, move in, become engaged, or get married to another human?
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